Inception. The origin of a thought or action. Ideas seem to spring up from the dead memories of my brain. They grow out of the wasted pages of books I’ve read but can’t quite remember. Still I know quite a bit from them. They pop up like shoots of green in a field of shit.
Today I thought about the golden mean again. This idea came to me in Magic building, but translates into my first few years at Georgia Southern University. Did I ever live that failure down? Still my disease is that of the serial optimist. I will have a great idea and I will drop everything because my excitement gets the better of me. I quit going to my classes because I thought I had in me the great American novel about MLK’s assassination how little did I know. I did the same when trying to lose weight a couple years ago I was in the gym Almost everyday but I burned out. I have to curb my enthusiasm. I have to contain my joy.
My other failure I rarely think about was the job situation. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t stay any more. I didn’t fit into the work force. I didn’t know what was going on around me. I do the same at school my ignorance of school matters kept me from succeeding. But what I’ve done now is starting to break my troubles into manageable pieces of fifteen minutes. I can write after the fifteen minutes is up but I can’t stop before. I’ll note the number of words written in that time frame to gauge productiveness. I’ll start with once tonight and two time tomorrow and three times by Thursday. But then I may be able to up the time one minute at a time each day after that.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
I just can’t write anything, that’s not what writing is. It’s a way of organizing my thoughts into something I, or someone else, can read later. If I put everything in then I can’t get to the “good parts” as it were. So vomiting onto the page isn’t the solution. There is a need for middle ground. Staying present. Don’t stop. Whenever you feel down doing something good. Shut up and write.
My life is stunted. It seems from the moment I can remember anything I was running away. I skipped school so much I failed the 10th grade. I to this day don’t know why I didn’t want to go to school. But it’s the same thing that is stunting my life now 15 years later and it seems as if I’m still locked away in a room hiding.
I noticed before I slipped into my childhood. I suppose that’s what writing down the bones was right. If I continue to write I will eventually stumble upon a subject that is meaningful to me. I thought first about deception as a subject matter. Deception is the heart of evil and conflict, but it isn’t unique to humans. I feel the topic is close to me because I feel most of my life has been a deception in one form or another. This is something I’d love to write about but I don’t know where to start. When it is time to write, write.
I feel that all the books I’ve read over time are things I should have been writing about. In order for these ideas to be a part of me I have to use the words to incorporate them into my mind.
I’m not sure if any of this makes since, but I want there to be a record of my efforts to write. I’m unsure of myself right now. My grammar and spelling and language are primitive for sure, I’m working at it right? Fear, embarrassment, timidity, these are the enemies of a successful life. I’m headed to bed but I hope after tonight you’ll see a lot more work in this journal.
My life is stunted. It seems from the moment I can remember anything I was running away. I skipped school so much I failed the 10th grade. I to this day don’t know why I didn’t want to go to school. But it’s the same thing that is stunting my life now 15 years later and it seems as if I’m still locked away in a room hiding.
I noticed before I slipped into my childhood. I suppose that’s what writing down the bones was right. If I continue to write I will eventually stumble upon a subject that is meaningful to me. I thought first about deception as a subject matter. Deception is the heart of evil and conflict, but it isn’t unique to humans. I feel the topic is close to me because I feel most of my life has been a deception in one form or another. This is something I’d love to write about but I don’t know where to start. When it is time to write, write.
I feel that all the books I’ve read over time are things I should have been writing about. In order for these ideas to be a part of me I have to use the words to incorporate them into my mind.
I’m not sure if any of this makes since, but I want there to be a record of my efforts to write. I’m unsure of myself right now. My grammar and spelling and language are primitive for sure, I’m working at it right? Fear, embarrassment, timidity, these are the enemies of a successful life. I’m headed to bed but I hope after tonight you’ll see a lot more work in this journal.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Writing is the truth with details. It was the most profound statement I’ve heard about writing. It stopped me in my place and made me recommit myself to the truth. The basic block of the writing life is learning how to write for a block of time. Choose a certain amount of time and sit down and write for that amount of time. Sit there and write for a song as you can. I don’t write that much because of my own limitations. I can’t see what I write. I can type and I can think. I can’t see. And so after I’ve written for the set period of time I can’t seem to continue because the words are building up line and line and I know I will have to face them soon. All the missed spellings and bad grammar and lack of coherence. I want to improve those flaws but the only way is to work through them. But as I push on the only thing that comes to mind is the fact that the words are getting more sloppy the text is losing it’s freshness and I am making more work for me to clean up.
But what other choice is there? I was made to write this much I know. If only for the fact that my mind is always active always thinking but it’s not making me any money. My mind is somehow different from everyone else’s in ways good and bad. But that difference is what makes my thoughts interesting. I can’t describe that difference yet, but I know soon I will. I know the outcome is a miserable man who thinks too much about things no one else seems to pay any mind. I see the pain that is unnecessary, and yet I’m powerless to change that intolerable situation for others or myself.
Contacting first thoughts to record the details of my life. Writing is inspiration made real in our minds. It is creation. Don’t hold back if you think it’s good, use it. Don’t keep it to yourself. Open your heart and mind and share wholeheartedly. Be in love with your life. Accept loss forever
This writing practice is like exercising. It’s not something that I want to do it’s something I have to do. I never can get myself to do the things I need to do. My life seems like a deadline that never comes. My goals are never really made clear and so I say one day I’ll do such and such, but right now I’m not. But it’s always on my to do list. In response still feel the anxiety of unfinished work, but in reality I never had any intention of doing anything. It’s a lie I tell myself to make me think I’m better than I really am. I don’t have to write words for other people to read, These words are for myself. These words are to help me burn away the junk inside my own mind. In order to get to the truth I write whatever until I find the treasure buried under the junk
But what other choice is there? I was made to write this much I know. If only for the fact that my mind is always active always thinking but it’s not making me any money. My mind is somehow different from everyone else’s in ways good and bad. But that difference is what makes my thoughts interesting. I can’t describe that difference yet, but I know soon I will. I know the outcome is a miserable man who thinks too much about things no one else seems to pay any mind. I see the pain that is unnecessary, and yet I’m powerless to change that intolerable situation for others or myself.
Contacting first thoughts to record the details of my life. Writing is inspiration made real in our minds. It is creation. Don’t hold back if you think it’s good, use it. Don’t keep it to yourself. Open your heart and mind and share wholeheartedly. Be in love with your life. Accept loss forever
This writing practice is like exercising. It’s not something that I want to do it’s something I have to do. I never can get myself to do the things I need to do. My life seems like a deadline that never comes. My goals are never really made clear and so I say one day I’ll do such and such, but right now I’m not. But it’s always on my to do list. In response still feel the anxiety of unfinished work, but in reality I never had any intention of doing anything. It’s a lie I tell myself to make me think I’m better than I really am. I don’t have to write words for other people to read, These words are for myself. These words are to help me burn away the junk inside my own mind. In order to get to the truth I write whatever until I find the treasure buried under the junk
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
notes about my grandma;s death
I could tell you that I know how it feels, but I don’t. Most pain is blunted by food or denial. I have never felt pain, not really, just the edges of it. Those edges are sharp and painful yet I’ve made myself believe that there’s not pain. My grandmother died on Christmas eve and it feels surprisingly real. That all the pain in my life is put in perspective. That maybe what I have been feeling isn’t worthy of being blunted. I should just feel it and move on because life is short. I’ll never get to talk to my grandmother again. Every moment I had with her is in the past and the reality of our mortality is smacking me in the face and saying this is all there is, make the most of it.
I think that I want to write and yet even though I have the ability my focus is always leaving me. After reading Push it occurred to me how much of a gift it is to be able to read and write and yet still it wasn’t enough to get me the computer and start writing. And now that I’ve been jolted back to a meaningful reality I’m afraid of losing it again. I know I have to finish school, but I should also be looking for work. I can’t do it on my own, clearly I need people’s help to make it work. I think my greatest weakness is my inability to ask for people’s help when I need it. That’s got to change.
Also when I die I want to have some people around me. Grandma had so many people who loved her. I can’t imagine the amount of love she had for so many. And while they may only dimly reflect it back to her it’s still bright. She leaves a mark on this world that I can only faintly imagine. It’s not that I wish to be like her because in many ways I am, but I want to be the better aspects she has shown me. When I had her picture up in my room I’d look at her and try to imagine who she was. Mostly I know that she’s a construction of my mind.
I think that I want to write and yet even though I have the ability my focus is always leaving me. After reading Push it occurred to me how much of a gift it is to be able to read and write and yet still it wasn’t enough to get me the computer and start writing. And now that I’ve been jolted back to a meaningful reality I’m afraid of losing it again. I know I have to finish school, but I should also be looking for work. I can’t do it on my own, clearly I need people’s help to make it work. I think my greatest weakness is my inability to ask for people’s help when I need it. That’s got to change.
Also when I die I want to have some people around me. Grandma had so many people who loved her. I can’t imagine the amount of love she had for so many. And while they may only dimly reflect it back to her it’s still bright. She leaves a mark on this world that I can only faintly imagine. It’s not that I wish to be like her because in many ways I am, but I want to be the better aspects she has shown me. When I had her picture up in my room I’d look at her and try to imagine who she was. Mostly I know that she’s a construction of my mind.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Reflections on the day
As I wake up this morning what sort of feelings am I having? I’m thinking about how many things can go wrong. What if it rains. Will my back hurt? I can control for some of these issues do something, many I cannot. The trick is to worry only about those things I can solve. Lack of dive may be due to an overwhelming sense of futility. I can’t seem to get it together. I ramble in my words and thoughts. I defeat myself before I even get started. I like to have rough outlines in my head of what I’m going to do but it seems like reality will not conform to my outlines. So why do I still feel these nee to plan like I do? I’m going to let it go a little. Let it flow.
Keeping my goals in mind I need to act in the moment. Finding balance is key. I’m going to the library to study for this statistics class. I’m hoping to read through chapter 9 and to do all of the homework exercises. I don’t expect to be able to get the paper done until this weekend. I will go to the bank to deposit the check from bill and that reminds me I should try to get some work from him this weekend end as well I need the money not to mention my need to actually do something. I can be so lazy sometimes. Maybe that because I’m scatterbrained and if I broke up my chores into smaller parts that are concrete I’ll actually do the things I need to do.
My depression is real but it’s not self loathing or at least not all self loathing. I hate my life not myself. I don’t like the fact that I’m overwight for instance, but I don’t hate my body I just need to change it. I don’t like the situation I’m in but I know that with time and effort I can change it.
Keeping my goals in mind I need to act in the moment. Finding balance is key. I’m going to the library to study for this statistics class. I’m hoping to read through chapter 9 and to do all of the homework exercises. I don’t expect to be able to get the paper done until this weekend. I will go to the bank to deposit the check from bill and that reminds me I should try to get some work from him this weekend end as well I need the money not to mention my need to actually do something. I can be so lazy sometimes. Maybe that because I’m scatterbrained and if I broke up my chores into smaller parts that are concrete I’ll actually do the things I need to do.
My depression is real but it’s not self loathing or at least not all self loathing. I hate my life not myself. I don’t like the fact that I’m overwight for instance, but I don’t hate my body I just need to change it. I don’t like the situation I’m in but I know that with time and effort I can change it.
I’ve been conflicted on whether or not I would write personal information in my blog. I tend to want to keep things to myself and I see no reason to publish everything to the world. On the other hand the blog serve the purpose of prompting me to write each day, something I’ve not done in a long while. So many thoughts pass through my head and I need to take time to process them into deeper longer lasting thoughts in order from them to be substantial. I think about this most often when listening to many of my audio books. Most of the time I listen to them for long periods of time without ever having written a single line down in order to remember it. Listening to it over and over again isn’t of much help either because over time I’ve learned to tune out the sound of the recording. I’m not saying I want to take detailed notes on what I read but at least a passing journal entry would be of help.
Then there are my life issues. First I lack the motivation to do just about anything long term. I want to get a better job and find a man. Getting a better job means getting my school work finished which mean applying for fanatical aid and getting back with vocational rehabilitation. Finding a man mean getting in shape and working on my social skills and ultimately moving out of Albany. These goals seem like things I should have done when I was 16 or at least started back then, but I’m almost 30 now and it seems embarrassing to admit that I haven’t had these goals in the past and that I’m getting such a late start to life. I lack a consistency that is necessary for follow-through on most of my goals. Right now I feel that moment of clarity, but later I know it will have gone away. So what can I do to improve my motivation? Writing this may be a start.
Then there are my life issues. First I lack the motivation to do just about anything long term. I want to get a better job and find a man. Getting a better job means getting my school work finished which mean applying for fanatical aid and getting back with vocational rehabilitation. Finding a man mean getting in shape and working on my social skills and ultimately moving out of Albany. These goals seem like things I should have done when I was 16 or at least started back then, but I’m almost 30 now and it seems embarrassing to admit that I haven’t had these goals in the past and that I’m getting such a late start to life. I lack a consistency that is necessary for follow-through on most of my goals. Right now I feel that moment of clarity, but later I know it will have gone away. So what can I do to improve my motivation? Writing this may be a start.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
In my more lucid moments I have great ideas. I fear they will slip away because often when I’m ready to write they are no longer ready to be accessed from the top of my head. I think of the mind as stew of sorts. The deeper the pot goes the harder it is to access the deeper thoughts, but from time to time those thoughts bubble up to the surface and it’s time to grab spoon and start serving the genius down on paper. When those ideas sink again to the bottom sometimes fear they will never rise again thinking that it was a fluke that my assessment of its superiority was misplaced.
I had such an idea of relationships the other day. It was about our personal universe. How we seek people who can understand who we are. We surround ourselves with people who’s ideas are close enough to our own that we can. Race groups for instance will see the world in a way this is similar to each other. Men and women see the world differently and we cluster in our demographics, income, education, class, and political perspectives. But when we meet someone who’s got a special insight into who we care we’re drawn into them and we want even closer relationship than we have with friends and associates. Most of this is well know to most people, but the question that came to mind I had is why?
Why do we need people to validate us? Is it that our personal perspective is so fragile that we need other to support it? After all our minds are quite adaptive. Humans are unique in our ability to adapt to new environments. Maybe we need ither to feel stable, to feel like we no longer need to adapt. That we seek other for that sense of permanence which is so lacking in the world. Be my rock, my chelter from the reality which says “this too shall pass” it is both comfort and chaos. Constant change isn’t consistency.
I had such an idea of relationships the other day. It was about our personal universe. How we seek people who can understand who we are. We surround ourselves with people who’s ideas are close enough to our own that we can. Race groups for instance will see the world in a way this is similar to each other. Men and women see the world differently and we cluster in our demographics, income, education, class, and political perspectives. But when we meet someone who’s got a special insight into who we care we’re drawn into them and we want even closer relationship than we have with friends and associates. Most of this is well know to most people, but the question that came to mind I had is why?
Why do we need people to validate us? Is it that our personal perspective is so fragile that we need other to support it? After all our minds are quite adaptive. Humans are unique in our ability to adapt to new environments. Maybe we need ither to feel stable, to feel like we no longer need to adapt. That we seek other for that sense of permanence which is so lacking in the world. Be my rock, my chelter from the reality which says “this too shall pass” it is both comfort and chaos. Constant change isn’t consistency.
Monday, July 06, 2009
15 minutes of mania a day isn’t going to cut it. I know that writing like this is probably only fooling myself but in my mind run a never cesing line of thought that serve me no good. Last tune was the first time that I did this. It was and interesting experiment and I discovered a lot. One is that there is a lot of junk up in my head that I suppose is no revelation, but that after a short time writing has a way of buring that junk away to find some true gems. Is this why some of the best writers are manic depressives? Maybe it is their way to cope with the voices in their head.For me it is the only way I can deal withem and maybe I too can find some relief and clarity by writing.
So what is on my mind. Right now it is acceptance on the web. I was thinking about the sex sites like Adam for Adam and BGC chat and how perverse those sites can be. I don’t know why I am on those sites. I know it’s because I want to find someone who will love me the way I want to be loved, but I can’t really find that in a place devoted to hocking up. It makes no sense, but there are times when you meet someone just in that way. Today I saw someone online Lee someone I’ve known online for sometime who has a rather vulgar ad on Adam but who I know to be a thoughtful person. What does that say about all the other people I find on the site could they be nice people in disguise or am I just kidding about Lee?
Also why am I ashamed of my own beliefs? I think I might hyst be an atheist. I know this to be the case in fact I have known for some time that I don’t believe the bible to be true in fact I find the whole thing to be a joke. I used to be able to listen to the stories and think that I could learn something from them, and I suppose I can but then I think of all the people around me who take these things said to be the truth and it makes me want to cry for them. How is it that these nice and intelligent people believe this crap when it is so obviously a lie? On the other hand I have felt the need to be a part of that community and cannot begrudge them the need to be a part of it as well. They are after all, good people.
And what about my inability to find a job and to do with my life what I know I need to do. I can’t seem to just get online and make the necessary calls need to make my job serch a priority. I have to call up the department of Labor and try to find a job. It’s not going to be easy I know that much I can go ahead and enroll in school but this whole thing is a joke claiming to have gone to Albany State when I haven’t and it’s just got to give I know if I want to lie about it anymore, but at the same time I don’t want to tell the truth. It was a lot easier when I was working to claim that what I was doing was good after all I was working and I had a pay check, but now I have no excuse and I’m jobless/
What is holding me back from doing the workout that I know I should be doing. I know that I have the dumbbells and I may not have the bench but I can make something work here in the hose so that I am doing some weight training. I will go to Darton this fall forget trying to maintain the lie about Albany State and get my associate’s degree and get to use the gym in the meantime. The vitamins come tomorrow which is defiantly a good thing. I love thinking about how they are helping me even if I know most of them are going d
So what is on my mind. Right now it is acceptance on the web. I was thinking about the sex sites like Adam for Adam and BGC chat and how perverse those sites can be. I don’t know why I am on those sites. I know it’s because I want to find someone who will love me the way I want to be loved, but I can’t really find that in a place devoted to hocking up. It makes no sense, but there are times when you meet someone just in that way. Today I saw someone online Lee someone I’ve known online for sometime who has a rather vulgar ad on Adam but who I know to be a thoughtful person. What does that say about all the other people I find on the site could they be nice people in disguise or am I just kidding about Lee?
Also why am I ashamed of my own beliefs? I think I might hyst be an atheist. I know this to be the case in fact I have known for some time that I don’t believe the bible to be true in fact I find the whole thing to be a joke. I used to be able to listen to the stories and think that I could learn something from them, and I suppose I can but then I think of all the people around me who take these things said to be the truth and it makes me want to cry for them. How is it that these nice and intelligent people believe this crap when it is so obviously a lie? On the other hand I have felt the need to be a part of that community and cannot begrudge them the need to be a part of it as well. They are after all, good people.
And what about my inability to find a job and to do with my life what I know I need to do. I can’t seem to just get online and make the necessary calls need to make my job serch a priority. I have to call up the department of Labor and try to find a job. It’s not going to be easy I know that much I can go ahead and enroll in school but this whole thing is a joke claiming to have gone to Albany State when I haven’t and it’s just got to give I know if I want to lie about it anymore, but at the same time I don’t want to tell the truth. It was a lot easier when I was working to claim that what I was doing was good after all I was working and I had a pay check, but now I have no excuse and I’m jobless/
What is holding me back from doing the workout that I know I should be doing. I know that I have the dumbbells and I may not have the bench but I can make something work here in the hose so that I am doing some weight training. I will go to Darton this fall forget trying to maintain the lie about Albany State and get my associate’s degree and get to use the gym in the meantime. The vitamins come tomorrow which is defiantly a good thing. I love thinking about how they are helping me even if I know most of them are going d
Saturday, July 04, 2009
My lifeis that of someone who’s not allowed to speak. It’s not that anyone is stopping me it’s that what I have to say is not something polite society wants to hear. And so I find myself writing in these pages. I hate myself. I don’t want to hate myself but I do and it makes me hate myself even more. Can you imagine each day of your life being worse than the next and having no way of stopping it? Sometimes it gets better but then I realize that it is only an illusion. When the down times come I just sit in my room and sulk. I may read a book sometimes and pretend that I don’t hate my life. But most time the illusion I create breaks and reality comes flooding in. SO what’s the point of these words? There words are an attempt to make sense of those times I feel like this, my dark days.
So I want to be a writer. I have an imagination like no one else I know. My dreams are like mvies, good vibrant movies that speak to me in ways I know others would like. But I can’t seems to get into the state of mind to sit down and work out a time to put them down on paper to put them in a form so the rest of the work and see what a genious I am. Of course at times I think that this sort of genious isn’t real that nothing I see in my head is going to make me money or happy ( the two are hard to tell apart) but I want to make sometime that makes people like me makes people see that I have some worth. I need proof that my life is worth being here and I currently am grasping for that proof. These stories in my mind I think they would be that proof I’m seeking so I’m starting now again on a quest to unlock my mind’s potential if only for a little while.
15 minutes of mainia is what I can call it to just let loose make my fingers move to write as much as I can in that time span abdn then try to work out what is I saying. I know that there’s a chracter in my head much like myself. A broken man. A depressed man who wants to contribute to the world with his skills but doesn’t know how he can/ Mitch. He needs help from his friend, his imaginary friend who’s going to come to his resure and give him his first investigory case since his shooting. He’s going to drag him on his way to discoving that his life has worth and maybe at the the same time he will show me that my life has worth too.
As far as the exercise routine is going I’m not sure that my mind is made up on how to lose weight best. I took pictures the other day and I’m fat again. I couldn’t believe my own eyes it looks like I’ve gained weight. But in a way I knew this was the case I just didn’t know how bad it was. I could go back to the gym. I know I need to but there isn’t anything there waiting for me. I can’t get there without a ride and it’s too hot to walk. There isn’t any hope on that front, but I could find a way to to do some workouts at hone I do have some dumbbells and I am planning on going back to school in the fall and that is where I could get back my mojo in the gym find a way to lose weight and stegthen my mind at the same time I just have to start here at home while I have the time to mess around
Also there’s this family reunion called my grandma’s birthday. I feel so inadiquite because I have no life. Everyone there is going to have stories about how they are moving forward with his or her life and all I can say is that I’m still here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that. I don’t know if I can make it. I’m scared because my brother is an ass and will point out how much my life sucks tell me to get it together
So I want to be a writer. I have an imagination like no one else I know. My dreams are like mvies, good vibrant movies that speak to me in ways I know others would like. But I can’t seems to get into the state of mind to sit down and work out a time to put them down on paper to put them in a form so the rest of the work and see what a genious I am. Of course at times I think that this sort of genious isn’t real that nothing I see in my head is going to make me money or happy ( the two are hard to tell apart) but I want to make sometime that makes people like me makes people see that I have some worth. I need proof that my life is worth being here and I currently am grasping for that proof. These stories in my mind I think they would be that proof I’m seeking so I’m starting now again on a quest to unlock my mind’s potential if only for a little while.
15 minutes of mainia is what I can call it to just let loose make my fingers move to write as much as I can in that time span abdn then try to work out what is I saying. I know that there’s a chracter in my head much like myself. A broken man. A depressed man who wants to contribute to the world with his skills but doesn’t know how he can/ Mitch. He needs help from his friend, his imaginary friend who’s going to come to his resure and give him his first investigory case since his shooting. He’s going to drag him on his way to discoving that his life has worth and maybe at the the same time he will show me that my life has worth too.
As far as the exercise routine is going I’m not sure that my mind is made up on how to lose weight best. I took pictures the other day and I’m fat again. I couldn’t believe my own eyes it looks like I’ve gained weight. But in a way I knew this was the case I just didn’t know how bad it was. I could go back to the gym. I know I need to but there isn’t anything there waiting for me. I can’t get there without a ride and it’s too hot to walk. There isn’t any hope on that front, but I could find a way to to do some workouts at hone I do have some dumbbells and I am planning on going back to school in the fall and that is where I could get back my mojo in the gym find a way to lose weight and stegthen my mind at the same time I just have to start here at home while I have the time to mess around
Also there’s this family reunion called my grandma’s birthday. I feel so inadiquite because I have no life. Everyone there is going to have stories about how they are moving forward with his or her life and all I can say is that I’m still here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that. I don’t know if I can make it. I’m scared because my brother is an ass and will point out how much my life sucks tell me to get it together
Monday, October 31, 2005
The Heart of Story
I’ve been having a rough time with my novel “The Best Revenge” It’s not because the plot is weak or my characters aren’t fully rendered, they are, but what’s missing is the heart. What makes this story really worth telling? I mean it’s interesting, exciting, yes, but what is really new about this? Why read this novel over any other. On my walk to school today I think I got a piece of the heart of this story.
Joe or Adam, I still haven’t decided what the name of my main character will ultimately be, maybe both Adam Joseph Collins, I think that might work. His name at work is Adam, but his friends call him Joe because his father’s name is Adam as well and as a kid he was called Joey or AJ I’ll work on that, but point of it is he hates his father. His father didn’t abuse him per se but he was awful. The conflict here is real because no one wants to admit they hate their father. When Joe is given Tim’s case he’s force to reexamine the relationship he’s had with his own father.
We don’t get to choose our parents. A lot of things in life we don’t get much choice in. When bad things happen we can prey for the best, but things will happen as they will. It’s how we choose to respond to those things that make us who we are. If we are weak, then we’ll have the response of a weak person. But what choice to we have about who we are? We may not have any, or we may have all the choice in the world, the point is that these things are not easy to answer. If they were life would be easy. Joe is going to learn to live with his feelings about his father on his deathbed. Tim is going to have to live with bad choices he’s made when he killed his father.
But there is hope. We can at time change who we are. Joe does just that. While a lot of things happen to him Joe makes the touch chokes against the better advice of his friends and collogues and takes on Tim’s case, thus really taking on his own case, and changing who he is. He doesn’t want to be a heartless bantered. He wants to care for people. He wants passion for what he does. He doesn’t want to have to drag himself to work each morning. But in his current situation there is little he can do to change his outlook. When the opportunity presents itself he takes hold and goes for the ride of his life; literally. That’s why it’s an interesting story. That’s what people want to read about.
Every action has to go through this premise. So Let’s simplify it:
“We don’t choose our life, but we can choose how we life it”
This is theme of “The Best Revenge” and it makes itself evident in every action the main characters undertake.
Joe or Adam, I still haven’t decided what the name of my main character will ultimately be, maybe both Adam Joseph Collins, I think that might work. His name at work is Adam, but his friends call him Joe because his father’s name is Adam as well and as a kid he was called Joey or AJ I’ll work on that, but point of it is he hates his father. His father didn’t abuse him per se but he was awful. The conflict here is real because no one wants to admit they hate their father. When Joe is given Tim’s case he’s force to reexamine the relationship he’s had with his own father.
We don’t get to choose our parents. A lot of things in life we don’t get much choice in. When bad things happen we can prey for the best, but things will happen as they will. It’s how we choose to respond to those things that make us who we are. If we are weak, then we’ll have the response of a weak person. But what choice to we have about who we are? We may not have any, or we may have all the choice in the world, the point is that these things are not easy to answer. If they were life would be easy. Joe is going to learn to live with his feelings about his father on his deathbed. Tim is going to have to live with bad choices he’s made when he killed his father.
But there is hope. We can at time change who we are. Joe does just that. While a lot of things happen to him Joe makes the touch chokes against the better advice of his friends and collogues and takes on Tim’s case, thus really taking on his own case, and changing who he is. He doesn’t want to be a heartless bantered. He wants to care for people. He wants passion for what he does. He doesn’t want to have to drag himself to work each morning. But in his current situation there is little he can do to change his outlook. When the opportunity presents itself he takes hold and goes for the ride of his life; literally. That’s why it’s an interesting story. That’s what people want to read about.
Every action has to go through this premise. So Let’s simplify it:
“We don’t choose our life, but we can choose how we life it”
This is theme of “The Best Revenge” and it makes itself evident in every action the main characters undertake.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
"The Best Revenge"
Logline A young lawyer representing a child killer comes to terms with his troubled childhood.
Theme - Life is full of self deception. Joe deludes himself and everyone else that he is strait. Tim’s Family history of abuse is hidden from the community and even within the family it is unspoken, and reality of corporate criminals happens behind the scenes and even those commiting the crimes don’t see what they’re doing as something wrong
Players
Joe Collins – Protagonist
Timothy Sutton – Defendant
Thopolis Collins – Joe’s Father
Kevin Lamar – Joe’s Love interest
Lester Drake – District Attorney
Alma Jean Collins – Joe’s Mother
Daniel Collins – Joe’s Little Brother
Synopsis Joe Collins is a young ambitious attorney given a big case. He works for the criminal division of a large corporate law firm. The case is representing a major client of the firm. The CEO of the company is under investigation by a federal grand jury. Joe is at first astonished at the level of malfeasance and arrogance his client displays. Through interviews with his client Joe learns of many illegal activities that which his own firm in is involved. But Joe is convinced to overlook them by his boss and mentor Dr. Robert Callaway. Joe wants to be successful in the firm and is convinced that means keeping its secrets. Joe works out an underhanded deal with the US attorney to drop the investigation. Meanwhile Timothy Sutton kills his father in cold blood. Joe’s mother, Alma Jean Collins is a trying to keep, and Joe’s little bother Daniel Collins, out of trouble. Joe’s father, Theopolis Collins, is dying of Lung Cancer. After getting the settlement Joe is given some time off from work as a reward. Callaway suggests that Joe go home and visit his folks. Joe hasn’t been home since he left for collage eight years ago and it’s unclear why. Joe entertains a young woman at his penthouse apartment in celebration. Joe’s car breaks down on the side of the road. An old law school classmate, Kevin Lamar, come to his aid and help Joe change his tire. Kevin and Joe have a strangely intimate and strained relationship that suggests Joe may have sexually experimented with Kevin. He tells Joe he should take a Pro Bono case while he has time off. This conversation suggests Joe to be much more compassionate that he first appeared at the start of the story. It also reveals that Joe is living a lie. He might be gay living as a strait man and he acts as a cold dispassionate advocate when Joe is a very passionate loving person.
Joe goes to get a Pro Bono and is instantly dispised by the lawyers at legal aid. Joe is clearly out of his league to them and they want to knock him down a peg by giving him the worst case they have. Joe is given the case of Timothy Sutton a fourteen year old boy who killed his father. He arrages an interview with Tim and discovers a very compassionate and average boy. Joe can’t understand why Tim would have killed his father and Tim refuses to talk about it. Joe then gets some information about his friends and goes to them to find out more about Tim. Time has one friend who tells of afriendly guy who like to do charity work at his church. His friend is unaware of why Tim would kill his father, but suggests that his father was strict and he’d hit him a few time. Joe then goes to meet Joe’s mother she is very angry and hurt and doesn’t want to talk to Joe. Tim’s mother explains some of the history of Tim. How her divorce ripped their family apart, but in the mother’s eyes Tim is responceable and doesn’t think Tim was abused.
Theme - Life is full of self deception. Joe deludes himself and everyone else that he is strait. Tim’s Family history of abuse is hidden from the community and even within the family it is unspoken, and reality of corporate criminals happens behind the scenes and even those commiting the crimes don’t see what they’re doing as something wrong
Players
Joe Collins – Protagonist
Timothy Sutton – Defendant
Thopolis Collins – Joe’s Father
Kevin Lamar – Joe’s Love interest
Lester Drake – District Attorney
Alma Jean Collins – Joe’s Mother
Daniel Collins – Joe’s Little Brother
Synopsis Joe Collins is a young ambitious attorney given a big case. He works for the criminal division of a large corporate law firm. The case is representing a major client of the firm. The CEO of the company is under investigation by a federal grand jury. Joe is at first astonished at the level of malfeasance and arrogance his client displays. Through interviews with his client Joe learns of many illegal activities that which his own firm in is involved. But Joe is convinced to overlook them by his boss and mentor Dr. Robert Callaway. Joe wants to be successful in the firm and is convinced that means keeping its secrets. Joe works out an underhanded deal with the US attorney to drop the investigation. Meanwhile Timothy Sutton kills his father in cold blood. Joe’s mother, Alma Jean Collins is a trying to keep, and Joe’s little bother Daniel Collins, out of trouble. Joe’s father, Theopolis Collins, is dying of Lung Cancer. After getting the settlement Joe is given some time off from work as a reward. Callaway suggests that Joe go home and visit his folks. Joe hasn’t been home since he left for collage eight years ago and it’s unclear why. Joe entertains a young woman at his penthouse apartment in celebration. Joe’s car breaks down on the side of the road. An old law school classmate, Kevin Lamar, come to his aid and help Joe change his tire. Kevin and Joe have a strangely intimate and strained relationship that suggests Joe may have sexually experimented with Kevin. He tells Joe he should take a Pro Bono case while he has time off. This conversation suggests Joe to be much more compassionate that he first appeared at the start of the story. It also reveals that Joe is living a lie. He might be gay living as a strait man and he acts as a cold dispassionate advocate when Joe is a very passionate loving person.
Joe goes to get a Pro Bono and is instantly dispised by the lawyers at legal aid. Joe is clearly out of his league to them and they want to knock him down a peg by giving him the worst case they have. Joe is given the case of Timothy Sutton a fourteen year old boy who killed his father. He arrages an interview with Tim and discovers a very compassionate and average boy. Joe can’t understand why Tim would have killed his father and Tim refuses to talk about it. Joe then gets some information about his friends and goes to them to find out more about Tim. Time has one friend who tells of afriendly guy who like to do charity work at his church. His friend is unaware of why Tim would kill his father, but suggests that his father was strict and he’d hit him a few time. Joe then goes to meet Joe’s mother she is very angry and hurt and doesn’t want to talk to Joe. Tim’s mother explains some of the history of Tim. How her divorce ripped their family apart, but in the mother’s eyes Tim is responceable and doesn’t think Tim was abused.
Friday, June 17, 2005
"The Music of the Spheres"
• Brief Synopsis: A psychic young man is forced to learn how to use his powers to solve the murder of his father.
THE OVERALL CHARACTERS:
Name: Joe Collins
ID: Main Character
Gender: Male
Role: Psychic Detective
Name: Daniel
ID: Impact Character
Gender: Male
Role: City Commissioner
Patrick: Joe’s father
Joyce: Joe’s mother
Mitchell Livingston: Joe’s mentor
• Main Character Resolve as it relates to Steadfast:
Joe faces more difficulties than most people would normally be able to handle. But Joe not only survives them, he remains the idealistic justice-seeker he always was.
• Main Character Approach as it relates to Do-er:
Joe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure. He doesn't contemplate much and gets to work to reach his goals. Sometimes this causes problems for Joe because he might have done better had he given more thought to his actions.
• Main Character Problem-Solving Style as it relates to Intuitive:
Joe approaches problems as whole. Rather than breaking a problem down into parts, Joe dives right in and tries to understand as much a possible and quickly a possible. He feels more than he thinks. His emotions guide his actions.
• Story Judgment as it relates to Bad:
Joe gets justice for his father's death, but is unsuccessful in his unobtainable goal of making the world a better place. He finds that while his powers can help, some things will never change. The blacked heard of killers will stay black. Molested children are scarred for life despite catching their abusers. In the end Joe doesn't believe he's brought much light to the darkness.
THE OVERALL STORY THROUGHLINE:
• Throughline as it relates to Situation:
The death of Joe's father makes him have to work his way though school. The Loss of Joe in the house Turn Joyce to take more interest in her student's well being. Mitchell needs Joe's skills to help his clients. Daniel couldn't run for State Senate with Patrick's knowledge of his criminal activities.
• Goal as it relates to The Past:
Justice
THE MAIN VS. IMPACT STORY THROUGHLINE:
• Throughline as it relates to Fixed Attitude:
Joe is a good man. Daniel is a bad man. Joe cares about his fellow man. Daniel does not. Joe and Daniel cannot be in harmony with each other because of the death of Patrick.
Joe Collins's THROUGHLINE:
• Role: Psychic Detective
• Throughline as it relates to Activity:
Joe gets a job after his father is killed. It's more work than he'd ever had to deal with. His powers of perception start growing because of the tragedies he encounters. He sees guilty men getting a slap on the wrist. He sees victims being sent to jail. He is forced to take a stand. He risks his job with the District Attorney and makes a choice that could mean disaster for his future. He realizes that his powers more important than his own life and dedicates himself to helping people. He finds himself working for a children's rights activist, Mitchell Livingston. He isn't paid anything, but uses his powers for justice.
• Concern as it relates to Understanding:
Joe's powers give him a view of the world vastly different than that of normal people. He needs to understand why he has his powers and what he can do with them. He has to learn about evil and how to combat it. He has to come to understand the meaning of Justice and learn to deal with the scarcity of it in a cold world. Joe has to understand what success is, and that it is not always counted in dollar amounts.
• Problem as it relates to Ability:
Joe has untapped psychic abilities. The positive side is that he can do a lot of good for people. He solves crimes and helps those in need. But Joe slowly realizes that his powers could be used to hurt people. Not all of Joe's desires are admirable and he has to learn to not to do things in a moment of weakness that he'll later regret.
• Solution as it relates to Desire:
Joe wants to make the world a better place. He is aware of injustice and wants desperately to help people. He does not see the world as bad, but is tempted to give in to cynicism. He remains a positive. However Joe runs into many obstacles. While his abilities are powerful, there is only so much he can do. And he find Daniel to be a formidable villain who's powers far exceed his own. Though he desires to defeat Daniel, he is not able.
• Unique Ability as it relates to Interpretation:
Interpretation of events is of how Joe resolves problems. Most people are looking for "how" or "who", Joe is looking for "why". He works with the case the police have already investigated using his powers. He makes connections based on interpretations or evidence the police or District Attorney couldn't make.
• Critical Flaw as it relates to Destiny:
Destiny plays a major thematic role for both Joe and Daniel. Both characters do what they must to achieve what they must do. Joe cannot ignore the suffering of abused children. His conscience cannot allow for injustice to stand. Daniel cannot allow Patrick to stand in the way of his ambition.
Daniel's THROUGHLINE:
• Role: City Commissioner
• Throughline as it relates to Manipulation:
Daniel hasn't become evil overnight. He learned it from seeing injustice around him. H slowly learned that the only person he should be looking out for is himself. When he reads the thoughts of other people it disgusts him. The lies and filthy thoughts turn Daniel to hate.
Miscellaneous Other Storytelling Items:
• Master Plot Synopsis:
Joe's father is killed forcing him to get a job working for the district attorney to pay his way though school. There his is put in situation where he can use his powers to help the young victims of crime, but is forced to help prosecute victims. Joe turns to Mitchell Livingston, a defense attorney and private investigator for a job knowing it will jeopardize his ultimate goal of going to college and getting out of the ghetto. He help resolve some very difficult cases. He meets the man who killed his father, only to learn that he's a very well connected city councilman running for the state senate. Joe uncovers the dirt on Daniel but is unable to convict him on his father's murder.
• Master Theme Synopsis:
The story is about justice. It is about how when things go wrong there is very little one can do to set them right. Joe discovers this horrible fact, but finds peace in doing what he can to help out those who need it. The bad guys may not get what they deserve, but Joe learns he make a difference for those they hurt.
• Master Character Synopsis:
Joe: a psychic young man, Mitch: Joe's mentor after his fathers death, Joyce; Joe's mother Daniel: The murderer and skilled psychic
THE OVERALL CHARACTERS:
Name: Joe Collins
ID: Main Character
Gender: Male
Role: Psychic Detective
Name: Daniel
ID: Impact Character
Gender: Male
Role: City Commissioner
Patrick: Joe’s father
Joyce: Joe’s mother
Mitchell Livingston: Joe’s mentor
• Main Character Resolve as it relates to Steadfast:
Joe faces more difficulties than most people would normally be able to handle. But Joe not only survives them, he remains the idealistic justice-seeker he always was.
• Main Character Approach as it relates to Do-er:
Joe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure. He doesn't contemplate much and gets to work to reach his goals. Sometimes this causes problems for Joe because he might have done better had he given more thought to his actions.
• Main Character Problem-Solving Style as it relates to Intuitive:
Joe approaches problems as whole. Rather than breaking a problem down into parts, Joe dives right in and tries to understand as much a possible and quickly a possible. He feels more than he thinks. His emotions guide his actions.
• Story Judgment as it relates to Bad:
Joe gets justice for his father's death, but is unsuccessful in his unobtainable goal of making the world a better place. He finds that while his powers can help, some things will never change. The blacked heard of killers will stay black. Molested children are scarred for life despite catching their abusers. In the end Joe doesn't believe he's brought much light to the darkness.
THE OVERALL STORY THROUGHLINE:
• Throughline as it relates to Situation:
The death of Joe's father makes him have to work his way though school. The Loss of Joe in the house Turn Joyce to take more interest in her student's well being. Mitchell needs Joe's skills to help his clients. Daniel couldn't run for State Senate with Patrick's knowledge of his criminal activities.
• Goal as it relates to The Past:
Justice
THE MAIN VS. IMPACT STORY THROUGHLINE:
• Throughline as it relates to Fixed Attitude:
Joe is a good man. Daniel is a bad man. Joe cares about his fellow man. Daniel does not. Joe and Daniel cannot be in harmony with each other because of the death of Patrick.
Joe Collins's THROUGHLINE:
• Role: Psychic Detective
• Throughline as it relates to Activity:
Joe gets a job after his father is killed. It's more work than he'd ever had to deal with. His powers of perception start growing because of the tragedies he encounters. He sees guilty men getting a slap on the wrist. He sees victims being sent to jail. He is forced to take a stand. He risks his job with the District Attorney and makes a choice that could mean disaster for his future. He realizes that his powers more important than his own life and dedicates himself to helping people. He finds himself working for a children's rights activist, Mitchell Livingston. He isn't paid anything, but uses his powers for justice.
• Concern as it relates to Understanding:
Joe's powers give him a view of the world vastly different than that of normal people. He needs to understand why he has his powers and what he can do with them. He has to learn about evil and how to combat it. He has to come to understand the meaning of Justice and learn to deal with the scarcity of it in a cold world. Joe has to understand what success is, and that it is not always counted in dollar amounts.
• Problem as it relates to Ability:
Joe has untapped psychic abilities. The positive side is that he can do a lot of good for people. He solves crimes and helps those in need. But Joe slowly realizes that his powers could be used to hurt people. Not all of Joe's desires are admirable and he has to learn to not to do things in a moment of weakness that he'll later regret.
• Solution as it relates to Desire:
Joe wants to make the world a better place. He is aware of injustice and wants desperately to help people. He does not see the world as bad, but is tempted to give in to cynicism. He remains a positive. However Joe runs into many obstacles. While his abilities are powerful, there is only so much he can do. And he find Daniel to be a formidable villain who's powers far exceed his own. Though he desires to defeat Daniel, he is not able.
• Unique Ability as it relates to Interpretation:
Interpretation of events is of how Joe resolves problems. Most people are looking for "how" or "who", Joe is looking for "why". He works with the case the police have already investigated using his powers. He makes connections based on interpretations or evidence the police or District Attorney couldn't make.
• Critical Flaw as it relates to Destiny:
Destiny plays a major thematic role for both Joe and Daniel. Both characters do what they must to achieve what they must do. Joe cannot ignore the suffering of abused children. His conscience cannot allow for injustice to stand. Daniel cannot allow Patrick to stand in the way of his ambition.
Daniel's THROUGHLINE:
• Role: City Commissioner
• Throughline as it relates to Manipulation:
Daniel hasn't become evil overnight. He learned it from seeing injustice around him. H slowly learned that the only person he should be looking out for is himself. When he reads the thoughts of other people it disgusts him. The lies and filthy thoughts turn Daniel to hate.
Miscellaneous Other Storytelling Items:
• Master Plot Synopsis:
Joe's father is killed forcing him to get a job working for the district attorney to pay his way though school. There his is put in situation where he can use his powers to help the young victims of crime, but is forced to help prosecute victims. Joe turns to Mitchell Livingston, a defense attorney and private investigator for a job knowing it will jeopardize his ultimate goal of going to college and getting out of the ghetto. He help resolve some very difficult cases. He meets the man who killed his father, only to learn that he's a very well connected city councilman running for the state senate. Joe uncovers the dirt on Daniel but is unable to convict him on his father's murder.
• Master Theme Synopsis:
The story is about justice. It is about how when things go wrong there is very little one can do to set them right. Joe discovers this horrible fact, but finds peace in doing what he can to help out those who need it. The bad guys may not get what they deserve, but Joe learns he make a difference for those they hurt.
• Master Character Synopsis:
Joe: a psychic young man, Mitch: Joe's mentor after his fathers death, Joyce; Joe's mother Daniel: The murderer and skilled psychic
Sunday, June 12, 2005
"The Music of the Spheres"
A psychic young man is forced to learn how to use his powers to solve the murder of his father.
Character Synopsis:
Joe: a psychic young man, Mitch: Joe's mentor after his fathers death, Joyce; Joe's mother Daniel: The murderer and skilled psychic
Plot Synopsis: Joe's father is killed forcing him to get a job working for the district attorney to pay his way though school. There his is put in situation where he can use his powers to help the young victims of crime, but is forced to help prosecute victims. Joe turns to Mitchell Livingston, a defense attorney and private investigator for a job knowing it will jeopardize his ultimate goal of going to college and getting out of the ghetto. He help resolve some very difficult cases. He meets the man who killed his father, only to learn that he's a very well connected city councilman running for the state senate. Joe uncovers the dirt on Daniel but is unable to convict him on his father's murder.
Theme Synopsis: The story is about justice. It is about how when things go wrong there is very little one can do to set them right. Joe discovers this horrible fact, but finds peace in doing what he can to help out those who need it. The bad guys may not get what they deserve, but Joe learns he make a difference for those they hurt.
Overall Story Goal: Justice
Overall Story Throughline: Situation The death of Joe's father makes him have to work his way though school. The Loss of Joe in the house Turn Joyce to take more interest in her student's well being. Mitchell needs Joe's skills to help his clients. Daniel couldn't run for State Senate with Patrick's knowledge of his criminal activities.
Main Character Throughline: Activity Joe gets a job. His job is much more than he though he'd ever have to deal with. His job is illuminating his powers of perception. He is forced to take a stand with his job with the DA and make a choice that could mean disaster for his future, but he stands on principal. And when he has to choose to be murderer he chooses to be a good man and not stoop the level the Daniel took when he killed Joe's father.
Main vs. Impact Throughline: Fixed Attitude Joe is a good man. Daniel is a bad man. Joe cares about his fellow man. Daniel does not. Joe and Daniel cannot be in harmony with each other because of the death of Patrick.
Impact Character Throughline: Manipulation Daniel hasn't become evil overnight. He learned it from seeing injustice around him. H slowly learned that the only person he should be looking out for is himself. When he reads the thoughts of other people it disgusts him. The lies and filthy thoughts turn Daniel to hate.
Main Character Resolve: Steadfast
Main Character Judgment: Bad
Main Character Approach: Do-er Joe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure.
Main Character Problem-Solving Style: Intuitive Intuition plays a large part in Joe's role as a detective. He has not special training or experience, but he can understand when someone is being untruthful. He sense when he should press further.
Overall Story Concern: The Past
Overall Story Outcome: Success
Overall Story Driver: Decision
Overall Story Limit: Timelock
Main vs. Impact Issue: Truth
Main Character Problem: Ability Joe's desire to fulfill his fathers wish of becoming a good man becomes a mission to keep wronged kids accused of murder from going to prison for the rest or their lives. Each action he takes seems only to make things worse cause him to jeopardize this college education and his father's dream.
ILLUSTRATIONS
Main Character Throughline: Activity Joe gets a job. His job is much more than he though he'd ever have to deal with. His job is illuminating his powers of perception. He is forced to take a stand with his job with the DA and make a choice that could mean disaster for his future, but he stands on principal. And when he has to choose to be murderer he chooses to be a good man and not stoop the level the Daniel took when he killed Joe's father.
Main Character Concern: Understanding Joe has to come to understand the meaning of Justice. It is not always the punishment of the guilty, but putting things back when injustice is inflicted on the innocent.
Main Character Problem: Ability Joe's desire to fulfill his fathers wish of becoming a good man becomes a mission to keep wronged kids accused of murder from going to prison for the rest or their lives. Each action he takes seems only to make things worse cause him to jeopardize this college education and his father's dream.
Main Character Solution: Desire Joe's desire for justice provides him with a headstrong guide for doing what is right. Ultimatly, Joe discovers that there is more than one way to become the man his father wants him to be, abandoning his values is not the way.
Main Character Approach: Do-erJoe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure.
Main Character Problem-Solving Style: Intuitive Intuition plays a large part in Joe's role as a detective. He has not special training or experience, but he can understand when someone is being untruthful. He sense when he should press further.
Main Character Unique Ability: Interpretation Interpretation of given facts is a large part of how Joe resolves cases. He doesn't do most of the legwork. He works with the case the police have already investigated. He makes connection based on interpretations or evidence the police or DA couldn't make.
Character Synopsis:
Joe: a psychic young man, Mitch: Joe's mentor after his fathers death, Joyce; Joe's mother Daniel: The murderer and skilled psychic
Plot Synopsis: Joe's father is killed forcing him to get a job working for the district attorney to pay his way though school. There his is put in situation where he can use his powers to help the young victims of crime, but is forced to help prosecute victims. Joe turns to Mitchell Livingston, a defense attorney and private investigator for a job knowing it will jeopardize his ultimate goal of going to college and getting out of the ghetto. He help resolve some very difficult cases. He meets the man who killed his father, only to learn that he's a very well connected city councilman running for the state senate. Joe uncovers the dirt on Daniel but is unable to convict him on his father's murder.
Theme Synopsis: The story is about justice. It is about how when things go wrong there is very little one can do to set them right. Joe discovers this horrible fact, but finds peace in doing what he can to help out those who need it. The bad guys may not get what they deserve, but Joe learns he make a difference for those they hurt.
Overall Story Goal: Justice
Overall Story Throughline: Situation The death of Joe's father makes him have to work his way though school. The Loss of Joe in the house Turn Joyce to take more interest in her student's well being. Mitchell needs Joe's skills to help his clients. Daniel couldn't run for State Senate with Patrick's knowledge of his criminal activities.
Main Character Throughline: Activity Joe gets a job. His job is much more than he though he'd ever have to deal with. His job is illuminating his powers of perception. He is forced to take a stand with his job with the DA and make a choice that could mean disaster for his future, but he stands on principal. And when he has to choose to be murderer he chooses to be a good man and not stoop the level the Daniel took when he killed Joe's father.
Main vs. Impact Throughline: Fixed Attitude Joe is a good man. Daniel is a bad man. Joe cares about his fellow man. Daniel does not. Joe and Daniel cannot be in harmony with each other because of the death of Patrick.
Impact Character Throughline: Manipulation Daniel hasn't become evil overnight. He learned it from seeing injustice around him. H slowly learned that the only person he should be looking out for is himself. When he reads the thoughts of other people it disgusts him. The lies and filthy thoughts turn Daniel to hate.
Main Character Resolve: Steadfast
Main Character Judgment: Bad
Main Character Approach: Do-er Joe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure.
Main Character Problem-Solving Style: Intuitive Intuition plays a large part in Joe's role as a detective. He has not special training or experience, but he can understand when someone is being untruthful. He sense when he should press further.
Overall Story Concern: The Past
Overall Story Outcome: Success
Overall Story Driver: Decision
Overall Story Limit: Timelock
Main vs. Impact Issue: Truth
Main Character Problem: Ability Joe's desire to fulfill his fathers wish of becoming a good man becomes a mission to keep wronged kids accused of murder from going to prison for the rest or their lives. Each action he takes seems only to make things worse cause him to jeopardize this college education and his father's dream.
ILLUSTRATIONS
Main Character Throughline: Activity Joe gets a job. His job is much more than he though he'd ever have to deal with. His job is illuminating his powers of perception. He is forced to take a stand with his job with the DA and make a choice that could mean disaster for his future, but he stands on principal. And when he has to choose to be murderer he chooses to be a good man and not stoop the level the Daniel took when he killed Joe's father.
Main Character Concern: Understanding Joe has to come to understand the meaning of Justice. It is not always the punishment of the guilty, but putting things back when injustice is inflicted on the innocent.
Main Character Problem: Ability Joe's desire to fulfill his fathers wish of becoming a good man becomes a mission to keep wronged kids accused of murder from going to prison for the rest or their lives. Each action he takes seems only to make things worse cause him to jeopardize this college education and his father's dream.
Main Character Solution: Desire Joe's desire for justice provides him with a headstrong guide for doing what is right. Ultimatly, Joe discovers that there is more than one way to become the man his father wants him to be, abandoning his values is not the way.
Main Character Approach: Do-erJoe takes actions to solve problems causing him to be in greater and greater risk of failure.
Main Character Problem-Solving Style: Intuitive Intuition plays a large part in Joe's role as a detective. He has not special training or experience, but he can understand when someone is being untruthful. He sense when he should press further.
Main Character Unique Ability: Interpretation Interpretation of given facts is a large part of how Joe resolves cases. He doesn't do most of the legwork. He works with the case the police have already investigated. He makes connection based on interpretations or evidence the police or DA couldn't make.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
“The Impotent ” (working title)
Horror/Thriller
A man who is losing his wife because of ED turns to murder to save his marriage.
Characters:
Protagonist: Travis Parker (working name)
Antagonist: Detective Yin
Other Players:
Travis’s wife
The Wife’s Friend
The Doctor
The Street Dealer
Two Police Officers
There Other Victims
Storyline
Act 1
Travis cannot get an erection and it is causing problems in his love life. In order for him to save his marriage he seeks treatment. When they fails to obtain the drugs he tries to buy them off the black market. During one illegal transaction Travis kills a dealer.
Act 2
He discovers that the killing worked better than the drugs. He goes home and makes love to his wife. He sees that this is starting to save his marriage. After considerable inner debate he resolves to kill again. His marriage seems to be saved when one day Travis finds his wife asking questions about where he’s been when he said he was at work and was found to have not been there. He discovers her snooping around his home office. Soon the police start asking questions about some of the murders he’s been committing. Travis starts to suspect that his wife might find out his murder spree. He starts reading her e-mail, and listening in on the phone when she’s talking to friends. He starts to suspect that she will go to the police. Travis finds a number on his wife’s cell phone to Detective Yin that implicates her in telling the police about her suspicions. Two peace officers come to arrest Travis. He kills them and escapes.
Act 3
The wife is notified of the police killings and goes into hiding. Travis goes to one of her wife’s friends and tortures her to get his wife’s whereabouts. He comes to kill her at her hideout. He manages to some people who where there to protect her, but fails to get to his wife before Detective Yin gets one non-fatal shot off on Travis. The Detective is waiting for backup when Travis explains to his wife that he’d done all of it for her. She reveals she did not turn him in. The wife then realizes that she cannot allow her husband to be sent to prison or worse be put to death. The wife kills Detective Yin and the two flee together.
Epilogue
Travis and his wife have moved to New York under a new identity. In the final scene Travis and his wife are depicted picking up a young girl and killing her together.
A man who is losing his wife because of ED turns to murder to save his marriage.
Characters:
Protagonist: Travis Parker (working name)
Antagonist: Detective Yin
Other Players:
Travis’s wife
The Wife’s Friend
The Doctor
The Street Dealer
Two Police Officers
There Other Victims
Storyline
Act 1
Travis cannot get an erection and it is causing problems in his love life. In order for him to save his marriage he seeks treatment. When they fails to obtain the drugs he tries to buy them off the black market. During one illegal transaction Travis kills a dealer.
Act 2
He discovers that the killing worked better than the drugs. He goes home and makes love to his wife. He sees that this is starting to save his marriage. After considerable inner debate he resolves to kill again. His marriage seems to be saved when one day Travis finds his wife asking questions about where he’s been when he said he was at work and was found to have not been there. He discovers her snooping around his home office. Soon the police start asking questions about some of the murders he’s been committing. Travis starts to suspect that his wife might find out his murder spree. He starts reading her e-mail, and listening in on the phone when she’s talking to friends. He starts to suspect that she will go to the police. Travis finds a number on his wife’s cell phone to Detective Yin that implicates her in telling the police about her suspicions. Two peace officers come to arrest Travis. He kills them and escapes.
Act 3
The wife is notified of the police killings and goes into hiding. Travis goes to one of her wife’s friends and tortures her to get his wife’s whereabouts. He comes to kill her at her hideout. He manages to some people who where there to protect her, but fails to get to his wife before Detective Yin gets one non-fatal shot off on Travis. The Detective is waiting for backup when Travis explains to his wife that he’d done all of it for her. She reveals she did not turn him in. The wife then realizes that she cannot allow her husband to be sent to prison or worse be put to death. The wife kills Detective Yin and the two flee together.
Epilogue
Travis and his wife have moved to New York under a new identity. In the final scene Travis and his wife are depicted picking up a young girl and killing her together.
Joe’s first major conflict
I’ve decided what Joe’s first major conflict will be. It will deal with his a series of events that lead the Patrick’s (Joe’s father) death. Joe has a part time job working at his father’s law firm. There is a case the Patrick lost some years ago. His client went to prison for 12 years. When he is released he starts to befriend Joe unknowing to his father. Joe has his first prophetic vision of the book when he sees his father being gunned down in the law firm. He tries to make himself fit in with man before he tries to take his revenge. Joe protects his father by talking the man down with the use of his powers. Before the first act climax Joe meets Detective Livingston because he is concerned for Joe’s safety Joe talks the man down from killing his father with the detective in the room. Mitch witnesses Joe’s abilities and understand his overwhelming capacity for justice that his new gift has. However just a few minutes later Patrick is gunned down by a drive by shooting. Detective Livingston is put in a coma, Joe escape with nearly a scratch.
Unknown to the reader at this point is that the drive by was called on by the antagonist, Daniel Sullivan. Daniel Sullivan has gifts much stronger than Joe’s and uses it cloud Joe’s mind from the truth. Daniel ordered the hit because he had a vision the Patrick would get in the way of his political ambitions. Mitch will later wake fro him coma to help Joe in the Third act.When he wake Mitch has abilities as well. It is set up to be a showdown of the minds.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Joe's Job
The bulk of the story of Joe Collins takes place in the hunting of a killer. Joe finds a job interning for the district attorney. He wants to become a lawyer. It is an election year and there is a high profile murder case. The district attorney is about to lose his case. This is where Joe steps in. He uses his powers to find evidence to convict the killer.
I’ll have to construct a murder case and a convicting way in order to make it where it looks as if the guy is going to get off. I can always start my search for cases on court TV. I figure I will have a lot of court scenes. Joe will only have two classes a day and got to the district attorney’s to work for the rest of the day. This will anger is mother who is a compulsive spender and wants Joe to get a “real job” or one that pays real money. Joe needs this job in order to get into college on a scholarship.
I like this story and I’m still going to work the troubled friend angle. I still want his school life to be a major part of the story. Going from school to work Joe will have a multifaceted life. Slowly building the anger in the freshman, slowly revealing character as Joe discovers his power. And all the time revealing a most sinister villain. I haven’t figured out a lot of things yet, but I know where the story is going and that’s a big plus.
I’ll have to construct a murder case and a convicting way in order to make it where it looks as if the guy is going to get off. I can always start my search for cases on court TV. I figure I will have a lot of court scenes. Joe will only have two classes a day and got to the district attorney’s to work for the rest of the day. This will anger is mother who is a compulsive spender and wants Joe to get a “real job” or one that pays real money. Joe needs this job in order to get into college on a scholarship.
I like this story and I’m still going to work the troubled friend angle. I still want his school life to be a major part of the story. Going from school to work Joe will have a multifaceted life. Slowly building the anger in the freshman, slowly revealing character as Joe discovers his power. And all the time revealing a most sinister villain. I haven’t figured out a lot of things yet, but I know where the story is going and that’s a big plus.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Story Nugget
A high school student with psychic powers fails to save the life of someone he loves. A vision of his friend killing dozens of his classmates forces him to learn how powerful he can be when stops his friend murder spree.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
Joe is a mystic, psychic, or a prophet. However I do want to throw out a bone for those who are not believers in such things. Joe has Temporal Loge Epilepsy. Below is some research that I found on the subject and I plan on using the symptoms and causes to prove a rational explanation of Joe’s visions. There is of course the possibility that Joe has vision because his condition allows him to see the world for what it is, or God granted hi this gift and we see it as a disease. Either way it provides a reasonable explanation for why Joe is seeing what he’s seeing.
Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
TLE was defined in 1985 by the International League Against Epilepsy (ILAE) as a condition characterized by recurrent unprovoked seizures originating from the medial or lateral temporal lobe. The seizures associated with TLE consist of simple partial seizures without loss of awareness (with or without aura) and complex partial seizures (ie, with loss of awareness). The individual loses awareness during a complex partial seizure because the seizure spreads to involve both temporal lobes, which causes impairment of memory.
TLE was first recognized in 1881 by John Hughlings Jackson, who described "uncinate fits" and the “dreamy state." In the 1940s, Gibbs et al introduced the term "psychomotor epilepsy." The international classification of epileptic seizures (1981) replaced the term psychomotor seizures with complex partial seizures.
Frequency:
In the US: Approximately 50% of patients with epilepsy have partial epilepsy. Partial epilepsy is often of temporal lobe origin. However, the true prevalence of TLE is not known, since not all cases of presumed TLE are confirmed by video-EEG and most cases are classified by clinical history and interictal EEG findings alone. The temporal lobe is the most epileptogenic region of the brain. In fact, 90% of patients with temporal interictal epileptiform abnormalities on their EEG have a history of seizures.
Aura
Auras occur in approximately 80% of temporal lobe seizures. They are a common feature of simple partial seizures and usually precede complex partial seizures of temporal lobe origin.
Auras may be classified by symptom type; the types comprise somatosensory, special sensory, autonomic, or psychic symptoms.
Somatosensory and special sensory phenomena
Olfactory and gustatory illusions and hallucinations may occur. Acharya et al found that olfactory auras are associated more commonly with temporal lobe tumors than with other causes of TLE.
Auditory hallucinations consist of a buzzing sound, a voice or voices, or muffling of ambient sounds. This type of aura is more common with neocortical TLE than with other types of TLE.
Patients may report distortions of shape, size, and distance of objects.
These visual illusions are unlike the visual hallucinations associated with occipital lobe seizure in that no formed elementary visual image is noted, such as the visual image of a face that may be seen with seizures arising from the fusiform or the inferior temporal gyrus.
Things may appear shrunken (micropsia) or larger (macropsia) than usual.
Tilting of structures has been reported. Vertigo has been described with seizures in the posterior superior temporal gyrus.
Psychic phenomena
Patients may have a feeling of déjà vu or jamais vu, a sense of familiarity or unfamiliarity, respectively.
Patients may experience depersonalization (ie, feeling of detachment from oneself) or derealization (ie, surroundings appear unreal).
Fear or anxiety usually is associated with seizures arising from the amygdala.
Patients may describe a sense of dissociation or autoscopy, in which they report seeing their own body from outside.
Autonomic phenomena are characterized by changes in heart rate, piloerection, and sweating. Patients may experience an epigastric "rising" sensation or nausea.
Physical:
Following the aura, a temporal lobe complex partial seizure begins with a wide-eyed, motionless stare, dilated pupils, and behavioral arrest. Oral alimentary automatisms such as lip smacking, chewing, and swallowing may be noted. Manual automatisms or unilateral dystonic posturing of a limb also may be observed.
Patients may continue their ongoing motor activity or react to their surroundings in a semipurposeful manner (ie, reactive automatisms). They can have repetitive stereotyped manual automatisms.
A complex partial seizure may evolve to a secondarily generalized tonic-clonic seizure.
Patients usually experience a postictal period of confusion, which distinguishes TLE from absence seizures, which are not associated with postictal confusion. In addition, absence seizures are not associated with complex automatisms. Postictal aphasia suggests onset in the language-dominant temporal lobe.
Most auras and automatisms last a very short period—seconds or 1-2 minutes. The postictal phase may last for a longer period (several minutes). By definition, amnesia occurs during a complex partial seizure because of bilateral hemispheric involvement.
Causes:
Approximately two thirds of patients with TLE treated surgically have hippocampal sclerosis as the pathologic substrate.
The etiologies of TLE include the following:
Past infections, eg, herpes encephalitis or bacterial meningitis
Trauma producing contusion or hemorrhage that results in encephalomalacia or cortical scarring
Hamartomas
Vascular malformations (ie, arteriovenous malformation, cavernous angioma)
Cryptogenic: A cause is presumed but has not been identified.
Idiopathic (genetic): This is rare. Familial TLE was described by Berkovic and colleagues, and partial epilepsy with auditory features was described by Scheffer and colleagues.
Hippocampal sclerosis produces a clinical syndrome called mesial temporal lobe epilepsy (MTLE). MTLE begins in late childhood, then remits, but reappears in adolescence or early adulthood in a refractory form.
Febrile seizures: The association of simple febrile seizure with TLE has been controversial. However, a subset of children with complex febrile convulsions appear to be at risk of developing TLE in later life. Complex febrile seizures are febrile seizures that last longer than 15 minutes, have focal features, or recur within 24 hours.
Temporal Lobe Epilepsy
TLE was defined in 1985 by the International League Against Epilepsy (ILAE) as a condition characterized by recurrent unprovoked seizures originating from the medial or lateral temporal lobe. The seizures associated with TLE consist of simple partial seizures without loss of awareness (with or without aura) and complex partial seizures (ie, with loss of awareness). The individual loses awareness during a complex partial seizure because the seizure spreads to involve both temporal lobes, which causes impairment of memory.
TLE was first recognized in 1881 by John Hughlings Jackson, who described "uncinate fits" and the “dreamy state." In the 1940s, Gibbs et al introduced the term "psychomotor epilepsy." The international classification of epileptic seizures (1981) replaced the term psychomotor seizures with complex partial seizures.
Frequency:
In the US: Approximately 50% of patients with epilepsy have partial epilepsy. Partial epilepsy is often of temporal lobe origin. However, the true prevalence of TLE is not known, since not all cases of presumed TLE are confirmed by video-EEG and most cases are classified by clinical history and interictal EEG findings alone. The temporal lobe is the most epileptogenic region of the brain. In fact, 90% of patients with temporal interictal epileptiform abnormalities on their EEG have a history of seizures.
Aura
Auras occur in approximately 80% of temporal lobe seizures. They are a common feature of simple partial seizures and usually precede complex partial seizures of temporal lobe origin.
Auras may be classified by symptom type; the types comprise somatosensory, special sensory, autonomic, or psychic symptoms.
Somatosensory and special sensory phenomena
Olfactory and gustatory illusions and hallucinations may occur. Acharya et al found that olfactory auras are associated more commonly with temporal lobe tumors than with other causes of TLE.
Auditory hallucinations consist of a buzzing sound, a voice or voices, or muffling of ambient sounds. This type of aura is more common with neocortical TLE than with other types of TLE.
Patients may report distortions of shape, size, and distance of objects.
These visual illusions are unlike the visual hallucinations associated with occipital lobe seizure in that no formed elementary visual image is noted, such as the visual image of a face that may be seen with seizures arising from the fusiform or the inferior temporal gyrus.
Things may appear shrunken (micropsia) or larger (macropsia) than usual.
Tilting of structures has been reported. Vertigo has been described with seizures in the posterior superior temporal gyrus.
Psychic phenomena
Patients may have a feeling of déjà vu or jamais vu, a sense of familiarity or unfamiliarity, respectively.
Patients may experience depersonalization (ie, feeling of detachment from oneself) or derealization (ie, surroundings appear unreal).
Fear or anxiety usually is associated with seizures arising from the amygdala.
Patients may describe a sense of dissociation or autoscopy, in which they report seeing their own body from outside.
Autonomic phenomena are characterized by changes in heart rate, piloerection, and sweating. Patients may experience an epigastric "rising" sensation or nausea.
Physical:
Following the aura, a temporal lobe complex partial seizure begins with a wide-eyed, motionless stare, dilated pupils, and behavioral arrest. Oral alimentary automatisms such as lip smacking, chewing, and swallowing may be noted. Manual automatisms or unilateral dystonic posturing of a limb also may be observed.
Patients may continue their ongoing motor activity or react to their surroundings in a semipurposeful manner (ie, reactive automatisms). They can have repetitive stereotyped manual automatisms.
A complex partial seizure may evolve to a secondarily generalized tonic-clonic seizure.
Patients usually experience a postictal period of confusion, which distinguishes TLE from absence seizures, which are not associated with postictal confusion. In addition, absence seizures are not associated with complex automatisms. Postictal aphasia suggests onset in the language-dominant temporal lobe.
Most auras and automatisms last a very short period—seconds or 1-2 minutes. The postictal phase may last for a longer period (several minutes). By definition, amnesia occurs during a complex partial seizure because of bilateral hemispheric involvement.
Causes:
Approximately two thirds of patients with TLE treated surgically have hippocampal sclerosis as the pathologic substrate.
The etiologies of TLE include the following:
Past infections, eg, herpes encephalitis or bacterial meningitis
Trauma producing contusion or hemorrhage that results in encephalomalacia or cortical scarring
Hamartomas
Vascular malformations (ie, arteriovenous malformation, cavernous angioma)
Cryptogenic: A cause is presumed but has not been identified.
Idiopathic (genetic): This is rare. Familial TLE was described by Berkovic and colleagues, and partial epilepsy with auditory features was described by Scheffer and colleagues.
Hippocampal sclerosis produces a clinical syndrome called mesial temporal lobe epilepsy (MTLE). MTLE begins in late childhood, then remits, but reappears in adolescence or early adulthood in a refractory form.
Febrile seizures: The association of simple febrile seizure with TLE has been controversial. However, a subset of children with complex febrile convulsions appear to be at risk of developing TLE in later life. Complex febrile seizures are febrile seizures that last longer than 15 minutes, have focal features, or recur within 24 hours.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
the throughline
This is a story about a young man learning to cope with a powerful gift. He is blessed with the power of foresight. But his is not sure how to use it. He sees thing that he cannot understand. He needs the guidance of others who are wiser than he. He must understand things no one can fully understand, and he’s got to make it through his senior year of high school.
Having such a gift is not a pass of his other responsibilities. To his schoolwork, to his family, and to his classmates. Above all he learn that he’s also given a great deal of obligations to help people who need help even when it seems like there is nothing that can be done. He is a psychic, a mystic, and a prophet all rolled into one. His life is hard. A broken home, nearly blind, and he’s a poor black man living in the south. After learning how to deal with everything his life has given him he become a savior.
Music of the Spheres comes from a philosophy of the Pythagoreans. A subject I am not entirely familiar with. I have go to the library and read up on the philosophy that can correspond to my novel and with Joe.
Though the entire book is not based on philosophy, a major part of it is. Joe is on a quest for knowledge about his own gift much of which must come through by reason alone. The process of great philosophers is of great importance in dramatizing Joe’s great inner struggle.
Having such a gift is not a pass of his other responsibilities. To his schoolwork, to his family, and to his classmates. Above all he learn that he’s also given a great deal of obligations to help people who need help even when it seems like there is nothing that can be done. He is a psychic, a mystic, and a prophet all rolled into one. His life is hard. A broken home, nearly blind, and he’s a poor black man living in the south. After learning how to deal with everything his life has given him he become a savior.
Music of the Spheres comes from a philosophy of the Pythagoreans. A subject I am not entirely familiar with. I have go to the library and read up on the philosophy that can correspond to my novel and with Joe.
Though the entire book is not based on philosophy, a major part of it is. Joe is on a quest for knowledge about his own gift much of which must come through by reason alone. The process of great philosophers is of great importance in dramatizing Joe’s great inner struggle.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
IF.....
by Rudyard Kipling
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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